I have to be careful with this post. It has a bad habit of becoming a rant instead of an insight. I have started it before. It is just a shirt, I keep telling myself, just another shirt. Not to mention that this has already missed being a pop culture article since it is inspired by a small hiccup over a year ago. A women’s Batman shirt. (*heavy, controlled breath) Alright, I’m ready.

The shirt says “Training to be Batman’s Wife”. The complaints are obvious, and when I first read it I remember thinking to myself “Oh, man. Another company did not think to dot their i’s and cross their t’s”. Then the thought grew. Then it grew more. Then I could not help but think about it. I got angry and there was no one to be angry at, at least not directly. Of course Wal-Mart pulled the shirt. How could they not? There was nothing to gain from standing up against the feminists who found this shirt so offensive. They are well organized, well heard, and pretty powerful, at least as far as organized minority groups are concerned.

After all this time, I have two “pro-shirt” arguments. The first is based on fact and is beyond scrutiny. It is also, almost certainly, immediately dismissed by those who have rallied against the shirt. The second is the argument most have prepared for and is based on philosophy, ethics, and discerning right and wrong.

THE FIRST: “Training to be Batman’s Wife” is a very particular statement about a very particular person and a very particular relationship. At the very least, the women in question could never be the stay-at-home type, making dinner, patching bullet holes in Batshirts and blotting the blood stains for the wash. In fact, Bruce Wayne would never be bothered with a woman who only had those sorts of attributes. Not to diminish those who have those things in any way, they just are not historically Batman’s thing. He has Alfred for those things. For reals though, this is no small point. Everything I have read indicates that this shirt seems to be implying that making an active goal to be Batman’s wife indicates a woman cooking, cleaning, and waiting on her man hand-and-foot. At the very least, it is saying that it is the man’s job to go out a-heroing and the woman’s job to take care of the ol’ Batcave. The existence of Alfred and his incredible relationship as Bruce’s valet make those skills irrelevant. That can’t be what the shirt means. Instead, the skills that women would have to learn must emulate those who actually had a shot of donning a Batring.

Most prominently was Selina Kyle, a.k.a. Catwoman, greatest of cat burglars who’s athleticism and acrobatic ability rivals (if not surpasses) Batman’s, works alone, uses her sexuality as an advantage over men, has a definite code by which she works, and has been seen as a decent feminist icon (with ups and downs), over the decades. There is also Talia al Ghul; daughter of the ruler of the League of Shadows, ultra skilled assassin, lead an assassin army, has degrees in biology, engineering, and holds an MBA. She is, in fact, the mother of Batman’s son Damien. Then some iteration of the character Maggie Gyllenhaal played in the Nolan Batman movies; a smart, ambitious, go-getter who is less interested in the billionaire playboy and more interested in the man behind the Batmask.

Granted, there are certainly more perfect feminist icons out there, but this is not a bad list. If a young woman is really in training to be Batman’s wife, it is their posters on the literal weight room walls. None of these women need Bats nor Bruce. Their identity is not tied to his. They are not mystified by his celebrity or mysterious, dark identity. They are not at all interested in his money. Just the man.

If I understand the tone of the arguments against this silly shirt, I feel like the primary rebuttal to this is some form of “that isn’t what they meant when they put it on the shirt”. My point is there is nothing else it could mean. If a detractor was unaware of the meaning of the statement, then they were in the wrong and have no point. The argument is over. There is no way that person’s ignorance is allowed to weigh more than our knowledge. This shirt is for fans of Batman. They would get it. Its the demographic. It comes with a free comic book history lesson to anyone who would walk up to them and tell them that their shirt is offensive. This kind of forms into my second argument…

THE SECOND:
Why does feminism get to steam roll over nerds in terms of minority rights? Well, ok, that one is obvious. Nerds are quiet and weak, only organized at cons or WoW raids. They learned long ago that when a bully starts pushing, it serves them better to just let it happen and not make a fuss. Then lie when authorities ask where the marks came from, ’cause they know next time it will be worse. Why are we not allowed to express our interests?

Let’s say the worst possible thing happens with this shirt: an empty headed bimbo buys this shirt and thoughtlessly talks about how awesome it would be to have a superhero husband who is also super-duper-mega rich and all the stupid things she would buy, essentially making her a super-duper-mega high paid escort. Let’s say that she’s popular and that this attitude spreads through her school (I just assumed she was in high school. Is that age-ist?) and a bunch of people start thinking this is the cool thing. Does this stop feminism from achieving its goal, or in any way derails whatever feminist movement is currently in play to help achieve a better, more educated, stronger, and more independent life? I hope not. This shirt is not relevantly different than Victoria Secret Pink that swept through school when I was there. Or Juicy. Or Abercrombie and Fitch. Or AE. Now, absolutely, there were upstanding young women who had nothing but all the right kinds of success headed their way that wore such things. But most were just mindlessly following trends. The clothes were not really at fault for their lack of integrity.

Now, I get it. This issue falls under the same heading as thoughtlessly using a racial slur because “its just a word”. It creates a society that permits and progresses harmful stereotypes for an entire people group because the majority does not take them seriously enough to even give up a word. In this case, women who look at marrying well as THE ultimate goal in life, devaluing education, success and promotion within a profession, and making women feel less than complete for not being well married. Let us forget for a moment that this is just a shirt that only nerds would be interested in. Well, don’t really, that’s an interesting point, but in addition to that, what about the women who simply need a man at the level of Batman just so he can keep up? If we are going to ignore the actual comic book history, then women who look at this shirt could just as easily think that, while they have no desire to dress up in pajamas every night to tackle some jackass who likes to steal things that look like penguins, they might need a guy who can. Who else has some chance of knowing how to handle someone with strength enough to spend 16 hours running a NMR spectrometer and interpreting its data then still wants to run 5 miles in the morning? A woman with the spirit composed of a unique adamantium/ vibranium alloy (to jump universes) needs a guy who knows how to roll with a punch, can think quickly on his feet, and has confidence in himself as well as his partner to succeed in something as powerful and fragile as marriage. To rally a protest against this seems like a knee jerk reaction to key words that tends more towards the harmful to the intended audience.